Last year I was speaking with a colleague in my corporate job, when she asked me –
do you ever just stop and smell the roses?
This seemingly simple question hit me like a ton of bricks as I suddenly realised that life was passing me by.
Literally I had gone from being carefree, flighty to married, with a baby and living a cyclical life in less than 7 years.
When I really gave it some thought it occurred to me that I wasn’t really living at all. I just existed. There were no new experiences. No exciting adventures. Just the monotony of going to and from work and hating it. And then fitting family life in around my grumbling about work.
I wasn’t showing up in my own life…
Yes I was consumed by my corporate job and I knew if I was ever going to be happy I needed to be true to myself. But nothing is ever straightforward and even from having that startling realisation that I wasn’t showing up in my own life, it took me months to do something about it.
You see I had so many different identities (I still do). I was mother, wife, daughter, sister, colleague, deputy, dogs body (well perhaps not, but it sometimes felt like it). But in the midst of assuming all of these identities I had lost myself. The ‘me’ at the core of my being.
I didn’t know who I really was or what I wanted to do. I didn’t have a clue what was going to make me happy or make me feel like I was alive and kicking. If someone had asked me what I was passionate about I couldn’t have given them an answer because I genuinely didn’t have one. So I had to take some time to figure things out.
It’s amazing how one simple question can change your whole perspective.
Do you ever stop to smell the roses?
That one question was the catalyst to me embarking upon a new journey. Though it has been a very bumpy ride (I will fill you in later) right in this moment I am aware. Perhaps a random thing to say, but it captures the essence of precisely what had been wrong in my life. I suddenly felt like I had woken up and could breathe.
The change in me has been so defining that even things like rain, no longer feel like an inconvenience.
If you know you know ? ❤